The same principle is applicable in the self-forgiveness. A lot of people tend to treat themselves worse than they treat other people. We repeat errors, repeat humiliations and condemn our perceived inefficiency. This internal cruelty makes a fractured self. Releasing self-judgment is a great compassionate act. It is the realization that we did all that we did based on our level of awareness at the time. As we mature, we are more knowledgeable. Punishing ourselves forever because of our ignorance in the past is to refuse that we can change.
Releasing also questions our identity clinging. Identities are built out of our roles, accomplishment, beliefs and experiences. I say, I do well, I do bad, I am the one to blame, I am the one who is affected, I am the one who is strong, I am the good one. These roles grant a feeling of continuity and unity. But they may also enclose us.
When we are holding on to a certain identity, we will be in opposition to experiences that will run against it. Someone who considers himself/herself to be strong can find it difficult to seek assistance. A victim may miss out on empowerment opportunities. The act of letting go calls us to take ourselves lightly. We are able to accept our past without letting it shape our future. We have the ability to develop without thinking we are betraying ourselves as we used to be.
The way of letting go revolves around trust. Trust does not imply that we think that everything will turn out to be the way we want. It is having faith in the fact that we have the inner resources to deal with whatever comes. Religion is not about what we are going to get, but about how we will maneuver it. This faith is gained over time, usually through hardship. With every obstacle we overcome, with every change we adjust to, we accrue evidence of our resilience.
Learning to let go can be nurtured with the help of meditative practices. As we sit and watch the breath we can see thoughts coming and going. We observe how the mind holds to some of its ideas and denies others. Through practice we come to understand that we do not need to follow all the thoughts. We permit mental chatter to be rain-clouds in the air. This mere act of non-attachment enhances our capacity of letting go patterns in day to day life.
In inner freedom, gratitude is also a factor. When we pay attention to what is absent or unsatisfactory, we increase a feeling of deprivation. When one gives thanks, they are focusing on what is there and giving life. It does not disown challenge, but balances perception. We can become less clutched by the desire and comparison, by valuing what you have at this moment. We start to realize that the fulfillment is not delayed until some future condition is fulfilled.
The irony behind the act of letting go is in the fact that in most cases, it brings us nearer to what we desire. Love is something we choke when we hold on to it. We put creativity in the back seat when we are obsessed with success. In situations where we require certainty, anxiety increases. We generate space by letting go of attachment. Relationships can breathe, ideas can blossom, and peace can be born, in that space.
Pure light and infinite love be with us!